My first days in Melbourne coincided with the arrival of Autumn. This would be the advent of my second Autumn of the year and I welcomed the time to reflect inward, orient myself to the Southern Hemisphere and learn how to live in a new country.
I hadn’t quite chosen Melbourne, it just seemed to pop up as the answer to the question, “what next?” My marriage was disintegrating, the years of domestic bliss collapsing, and when it dawned on me for the first time that Casey and I may not find a compromise, my gut reaction was Melbourne.
Laura had been living in Melbourne with Cassie for the last year. Laura is a fiercely adventurous soul- driven by her desire to live the fullest most vibrant life possible and every time we connected over FaceTime, text message, whatsapp or Facebook messenger she would adamantly express how much I needed to come to Melbourne. This, she explained, was my city. More than anyone else in her life, she could see me here. At the time I didn’t see the changes about to take place between Casey and I. I explained to her how we were saving for South America and Australia wasn’t even in the top 10 on my list of places to see, though I did imagine the wild nights and exciting experiences she was having and what it would be like to be beside her, my wild soul-sister. I considered how to convince Casey to re-route our travels, or what I could do to pay for the flight to get there before she left, but it never seemed like more than a silly fantasy.
All of those conversations that had been day dreams appeared suddenly like an invitation, when the reality set-in that Casey and I were no longer partners. Inside the deep turmoil of coming to terms with the end of our ten-year romance, I found hope and solace in proclaiming that I would start the new chapter of my life abroad. And I told everyone. I set my timeline for 8 months. I gave myself time to grieve, to live alone for the first time in my adult life, to save money, to attempt to salvage my relationship with Casey, to come to terms with the new reality when those attempts failed, to have unabashed sex , to practice non-monogamy as a single woman,to say goodbye to Seattle and all of the people who I loved residing in that glowing emerald city.
The eight months passed in terrific seismic shifts. In the last three I finally focused my energy on moving forward. I landed a transfer with my job, a great single terrace two bedroom with an equally great flatmate, and a super cheap flight that I paid for with miles on my credit card. My visa, which I put off till the last moment to apply, came back approved in less than 30 minutes. Life seemed to be screaming at me, ” ON YOUR WAY!”
There were so many beautiful goodbyes that I can recount from my last few days in Seattle. Casey’s was the day before my flight to LA. What I remember was how long we held each other. Minutes passed as we teared up, cried, dug in, sighed, grasped, caressed, and soothed one another. There was a profound peace within our embrace. I had that feeling, so rare and overly-romanticized, that if I didn’t let go we could stay that way, but deep down we were acknowledging our past and when we softly gave way it was to the reality that our paths were no longer set for the same course. It was the most honest goodbye I have ever given.
After three weeks of traveling the West coast cities that housed some of my dearest friends, (LA> LV> SF>LA) I arrived in Melbourne (29 hours and a layover in Fiji) from my departure at LAX. Under the midnight sky I knocked on my first Australian door and walked into my life as a traveler.
american wears 